Cumulus Tumour?

I don't know where to begin with this post. I feel as though Godfrey and I have been living under a cancer cloud for so long, and yet it's only been about a month. Every time we see a professional, we seem to get a different story. Then it's back home and some intensive hours googling, trying to get answers to all the questions we didn't even know we should have asked, only for the next doctor to send us off in a completely different direction. It's exhausting.

Yes, I know we are making it worse for ourselves with all the googling, but it's not in either of us to just go along passively with the experts. Not in a situation like this.

The Oncologist Judy King said that the MDT had decided that the tumour was operable. Which is brilliant. A median sternotomy is the preferred procedure - it's going to mean cutting the sternum vertically in half and prizing my ribs apart, and having a good old rummage around inside my chest cavity to see how much of the tumour can be removed. There are delicate bits of anatomy in there which need to be left intact, like the phrenic nerve and superior vena cava. Followed by radiotherapy. I'm going to feel smashed around, for a long time. Bring it on.

Sadly we couldn't get to see the surgeon, Mr David Lawrence, to ask any questions. Apparently he'll contact us over the next few days with a view to seeing us next week, probably. We don't know whether all the cancer can be removed or whether some of it has invaded the tissue of other organs besides the lung in the mediastinal compartment- they can't see that much detail on the scans, so Mr Lawrence won't know until I'm under the knife.

I'm ready for the surgery, up for it. It's the waiting that's so draining.