It's weird - there was such a lot going on in 2012, and it all seemed cataclysmic. But now in 2015 life just bumbles on in its usual way, and for weeks or even months at a time I can almost forget the events and experiences we went through then. Occasionally I get a strange graunching feeling in my sternum, which having been sliced in two will never mend and is held together by wires. Otherwise, I get caught up in reality, the here and now, general stuff. Then the appointment comes up and BLAM! all my 2012 fears and worries are back in my head.
The check-ups are to allow the oncologist and a radiologist to look at X-ray images of the wire clips inserted at my surgical site (just to the left of my spine in the X-ray). So long as these images stay clear, so do I. If they start to become fuzzy, there's a problem. At one of my checkups I was told that although the radiotherapy I had was designed to kill off any remaining cancer cells, sometimes the re-growth is just knocked back rather than killed off. If this happens, the re-growth is knocked back for up to about 2 years. I finished my course of radiotherapy in November 2012, so am now past the 2 year threshold. The images are clear, so far.
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| Carol's X-ray: the clips are clear |
I say I can almost forget the events. But at the same time, there's often a kind of undercurrent of thought, almost at a sub-concious level, where I'm still trying to make some sense of it, find some meaning in it all. There's wise things to be thought here about chance and choices, destiny, fate and the porpoise of life. Cripes. When I've thunk them I'll let you know.
But for now, I'm well, and very glad to be alive. And spring is here!
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